As the year draws to a close, the weight of loss has become a heavy burden to bear. The months of July and August, in particular, have been filled with sorrow, bringing the loss of five people. First, my neighbor and his fiancé, followed by my grandmother and her husband of the last decade, who passed on the morning of her funeral. Finally, my across-the-road neighbor’s daughter, with whom I shared a friendly relationship, also passed away.
Each of these losses felt like another layer of grief added to an already painful reality. But what hurts most is how each death reminds me of the two most important people I’ve lost—my cousin Ashley and my Dad. Both passed in September, Ashley twenty years ago, and my Dad eight years ago. September has become a month where my heart feels heavy with grief, and now, July and August seem to be joining it in sorrow.
Ashley was one of my best friends in the world. I never told her that enough, and now, two decades later, the regret still stings. Losing her and then losing Dad changed everything. Every time someone close to me passes, I’m reminded of the weight of those two losses. It feels as though grief has made July, August, and September into months where time stands still.
Grandma’s Funeral: A Tribute to a Life Well Lived
Despite the sadness, there was beauty in my grandma’s funeral. It was a simple, heartfelt service that reflected who she was. Two of her brothers, one of whom is set to celebrate his 99th birthday this year, attended, as did all of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Grandma was remembered for her big heart, her love of cooking, her passion for music, and her skill at card games. She had always been a gracious host and someone who made others feel welcomed. One of the most touching moments of the service was when one of my mom’s cousins played Grandma’s accordion—it was as if her spirit filled the room.
Finding Joy Amidst the Grief
Amid the tears, there was also joy. Being back home meant reconnecting with family I hadn’t seen in years—cousins, aunts, uncles. During one of those moments, my cousin Dustin’s wife and I decided we need to have more family reunions, not just come together for weddings and funerals. It was a reminder of how important it is to make time for loved ones.
I spent quality time with my siblings and my mom. We celebrated my brother’s birthday, marking another special moment during an emotional time. My husband and I also celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. Our nine-year-old son had the chance to bond with his cousins, running around together like they had never been apart. Those moments of laughter, closeness, and happiness were a reminder of the importance of family, even amidst the grief.
Honoring My Dad with a Tattoo
In a deeply meaningful gesture, my mom, sister, sister-in-law, and I got matching tattoos in honor of my Dad. It was a first tattoo for both my mom and sister. The tattoo we chose was our family’s ranch brand, the Circle S Ranch brand. Established in 1907 by my grandfather and his brother in rural North Dakota, the Circle S Ranch had long been a part of our family’s identity. Though the farm no longer has cows—and Dad didn’t even like them—he kept the brand registered. After he passed, my mom and brother made sure the brand stayed registered, preserving its significance to our family. Now, with the Circle S brand tattooed on our skin, it feels like a piece of our family legacy stays with us wherever we go.
The Takeaway: Don’t Wait for Weddings or Funerals
So, what’s the point of sharing all of this? It’s simple—don’t wait for weddings and funerals to spend time with your family. Cherish the ones who are still here. Honor the ones who are gone. Life is fleeting, and the connections we share with loved ones are precious. For those of us who have experienced loss, the pain never fully fades, but it does make us appreciate those who are still part of our lives. So, for crying out loud, make it to the family reunions. Don’t let time and distance keep you apart from the people who matter most.