Jake Bley, a man mourning the loss of his mother, Nicki, has found a unique way to remember her: by tattooing her handwritten words on his leg. The phrase, “only a little fellow,” was penned by Nicki in her diary the day Jake was born, and has since become a touching tribute to their bond.
Nicki Bley passed away from Acute Myeloid Leukemia in 2014 at the age of 46, after a year-long battle with the illness. At the time of her death, Jake, one of Nicki’s five children, was in his early 20s. Reflecting on their relationship, Jake recalled that as a young mother, Nicki’s bond with him was closer to that of friends than a traditional mother-son dynamic.
“As a young mother, our relationship was closer to a friendship than a usual mother/son relationship,” Jake explained. “I could go to her about anything, and she was always supportive…she was one of my best friends.”
In the months before her passing, Nicki gave each of her children a sentimental gift—her collection of handwritten diaries, which she had started keeping at age 8. She entrusted these to Jake, knowing that he would cherish them and gain insight into her thoughts, emotions, and life experiences.
“She told me she gave me the diaries and other sentimental items because she knew I would value them, and I could process her thoughts throughout the years,” Jake shared. “Get to really know who she was and value that—the good and the bad.”
For years, Jake couldn’t bring himself to open the diaries, but after a decade, he began the emotional journey of exploring them. In one of the diaries, dated 1989—the year Jake was born—he found a brief but powerful note: “Only a little fellow.” Jake, who was born prematurely and weighed just 5.7 pounds at birth, was struck by the significance of these words.
“The second I saw it, I thought to myself, ‘Oh my god, these were her first thoughts about me,'” Jake said. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
As a tribute to his late mother and a part of his healing process, Jake decided to have the phrase tattooed in Nicki’s handwriting on his leg to mark the 10th anniversary of her passing.
“I’ve started going through the notes, diaries, documents, and photos my mum left me,” Jake wrote in a social media post. “I found this photo of her, and she was so damn cool. There’s so much to read and preserve.”
Jake’s decision to commemorate his mother’s memory has resonated with many people on social media, where his story has gone viral. He shared a video of the tattoo process on TikTok, capturing the emotional journey of rediscovering his mother through her writings.
Jake has also reflected on his grief, describing it as a complex and evolving process. “It’s not until years later that I started to understand the impact of losing a parent, and the need to not only experience, but feel my emotions,” he said. “Taking the time to rediscover my mother and getting this tattoo a decade later has been part of my healing journey.”
The emotional resonance of Jake’s story has sparked a flood of responses from people sharing their own experiences of loss and remembrance. Through his tattoo and the story behind it, Nicki Bley’s legacy continues to inspire and connect others in powerful ways.
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